Saturday, January 14, 2012

Transforming a Disrespectful Child

A disrespectful child can be transformed. But this is easier said than done.
Nevertheless, by employing the right attitude and approach to the problem, a rebellious child who can’t seem to treat you with respect can indeed be changed.
To begin with, children are not adults. They only become adults much later. Much like what happened to you and me. But does this mean then that you should know how a child thinks? (Every parent in the world should know the answer to that one.)
The fact of the matter is – every generation is different. What remains constant is that children are hot wired to think differently than adults. And this is where stuff like, “You don’t understand me!” comes in.
But rolling of eyeballs and stomping off to bedrooms and protests of “It’s not fair!” are normal for teens or pre-teens. It’s how they cope. They must be allowed some way to express emotions. What we are concerned about here is when this kind of behavior takes on a more disrespectful tone.
Whenever outbursts start to become abusive and rude, and you start hearing “Stupid!” or get called names, you can be sure you are dealing with a disrespectful child there.
A little rebellion or resistance is normal for a child or teen, but mouthing off to other authority figures and giving the school reason to keep phoning you at work is definitely a sign that something is wrong.
You can react to this by getting angry and demanding that such behavior stop immediately. But you will quickly realize you are fighting a losing battle. And right after you reach the point where you feel helpless – even powerless – you might start blaming yourself for your child’s disrespectfulness.
That can bring about a scenario where you become paranoid every time you are out with your child. You fear he might have an outburst while you’re at the mall. You wouldn’t want to be embarrassed in public or viewed as a “failure” when it comes to parenting, do you? So, what options are out there to address this problem?
A very good one would be counseling. A therapist can help you and your child see eye to eye. Once the communication lines are opened, solutions to the emotional issues your misbehaving child may have can be drawn.
The benefits of seeing a therapist include bringing you and your child closer. It can pave the way for healing of the relationship.
Maintaining strong bonds with your child at this crucial phase can determine the future of your relationship with him. Thus, finding the right therapist to counsel your child is very important once you decide upon this option.
There is also another option available today that may suit those who may not be too comfortable with the idea of sitting at some “shrink’s” office and getting billed hundreds of dollars for it. This is what we call the at-home behavioral program that is proving to be a good alternative to professional therapy.
At-home child behavioral change program like Total Transformation involves you directly in dealing with your defiant child. It explains to you what the problem is and teaches you the right skills to transform your disrespectful child.
The bonus is that your child sees that it is you, and not some stranger – who gets paid by the hour – who is interested in working with him to thresh out your problems. 

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